Wow... it's been a looooooooooong time

>> Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Hmmm... haven't written here in forever but I see that I'm still getting a fair bit of traffic so perhaps it's time I start again ... especially since - even though I am no longer actually doing the non-traditional student thing (mostly) - I am working on a book related to the topic. So perhaps someday, might be good to have this blog alive, eh?

Assuming I ever actually finish it...I did a lot better at finishing things when I had deadlines and due dates. Now, I'm amazed, sometimes, at how little I manage to accomplish with my days.

I still work ... and write...

but when I was in school, I worked, wrote, read, took care of hubby's mom, and went to classes, did my reading and research, wrote papers, and spent hours & hours commuting too.

Must be getting old. Or unmotivated. Or something.

My bad!

I need to do better!!!

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Ashley Smith Inquest

>> Friday, May 20, 2011

So - in addition to studying for my July comprehensive exam, I am keeping more than a little busy these days attending the Ashley Smith Inquest. It is, not surprisingly, being held in Toronto, which is, unfortunately, a good 2 hours away - by car - even more by bus.

I either take the van, or hubby drives me, as far as Barrie in the morning... then a 1.5 hour ride on the GO train, followed by - assuming I FIND the damn subway - a short hop up the Yonge St. line, and a short walk. So ... $30 + gas, and basically 3 hours each way travel time. Fun!

I have a research fellowship that will reimburse me for a fair bit of my travel and food costs - but the time is a huge issue, of course... but it has to be done.

I won't be able to attend every day - but I figure that attending as much as I can right now makes sense. Not only am I learning about what happened to Ashley Smith - but I am also learning about the Inquest process, and making connections with other attendees. So - hopefully - when I have to start missing days, I will be able to keep up with what I'm missing.

And - when I'm ready to actually get going on my dissertation proposal - I will have the contacts I need.

Clearly, it is worth the inconvenience - but oy! what a cost in emotional terms.

I am so freaking frustrated... and angry....and saddened... by the whole thing.

I am saddened that - no matter what is learned through the Inquest process - it is too late for Ashley and for her family.

I am saddened because at so many points unlong the way, Ashley could have - should have - been saved.

I am angry that any young, troubled person would be put through the things that Ashley was. In Canada!! It makes me anything but proud to be Canadian - not only that such behaviour happens - but that there is not a much bigger outcry.

Canadians, it seems, care far more about abused animals than people. How is that possible?

I am frustrated, too, that the Inquest process seems - at least to this point - so incredibly focussed on keeping things OUT of the public eye rather than on getting to the bottom of what happened.

It was a battle to get the coronor to expand the scope of the Inquest to cover the entire course of Ashley's stay in CSC custody - and even though that was - supposedly - successful, the reality is that to date, the coroner has shown no inclination to actually follow through and do so. Yesterday, the lawyers for the family, Elizabeth Fry Society, and the Advocate for Children and Youth were back in court asking that additional evidence be entered; the Divisional Court found that the coroner erred in her decision that videos relating to Ashley's treatment during transfers between prisons, and her time at facilities other than Grand Valley Institute for Women (where she died) were not relevant.

I am frustrated, too, at the course of the questioning so far. Each witness is questioned first of all by the coroner's lawyer - who is, it seems, intent on ignoring any of the real issues.

For example, so far we have seen several hours of video of Ashley's interactions with correctional officers - during which she continually is seen tying strips of cloth around her neck. His questions are focussed on their management of this behaviour - why did they go in, or not go in; remove it, or not remove it.

Hello...!? How about a few more questions about where the strips of cloth are coming from?

It was 'established' - supposedly - that the cloth did not come from GVI .... Ms. Sandeson, an acting manager at GVI suggested that she had 'hooped' the materials while in other facilities. "Maybe" while she was at the St. Thomas psychiatric facility....

'Hooping' refers to storing things in bodily cavities - in this case, the vagina...and "people don't understand" just how much stuff one can hide up there...

Give me a ******* BREAK. Clearly, there are limits to how much cloth can be stored within bodily cavities. Eventually - if supervision was somewhat vigilant - she should have run out of cloth.

She was not using narrow strings, but rather strips of cloth, in many cases about an inch wide - and in at least one of the videos that we saw this week, several feet long.

It seems obvious to me that she was being provided with plenty of opportunities to add to her supply of ligatures on an ongoing basis.

They have not yet mentioned glass from a broken television, which she also supposedly hooped in there - presumably we'll get to that - but for God's sake - how stupid do these people think we are?

The whole ligature process is a sick game played between Ashley and the officers - but it is, in my opinion, a game that both sides 'enjoy' and make possible. Christie Blatchford of the Globe and Mail described it as a "macabre dance" in her 19 May article, a very appropriate description.

Even without a body cavity search, which according to Ms. Sandeson, could not be conducted without a medical doctor, and which would require Ashley's consent (clearly not happening), this 'game' should not have been able to - allowed to - continue.

To focus on management of the incidents rather than on PREVENTION is ludicrous. Just ludicrous.

Even more ludicrous is the focus on reducing the number of use of force incidents (to avoid triggering external surveillance) ... this, it seems, is the direction given to correction officers...and resulted in them - however reluctantly - allowing Ashley to repeatedly harm, and eventually kill, herself.

I am looking forward to the cross-examination - especially by the lawyers for the three parties with standing I mentioned already - as they seem to be our only hope for ensuring that the jury - and Canadians - learn what really happened to Ashley Smith - and what has happened and continues to happen to other men and women in Canadian prisons.

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Ouch! York TA in the news

>> Saturday, March 19, 2011

Today on facebook, one of my connections posted a link to an article in the Toronto Star: York TA apologizes after criticizing students on Facebook.

My first response, on reading the article, was to groan over the spelling and grammar of the comment, which was quoted in the article. Yikes! If you're going to complain about other peoples' writing abilities.... well...

Easy pickings, that.

But really, I feel really badly for this poor T.A. Who among us doesn't vent someplace? Online, even?

It's all well & good to say that facebook (or blogs....) are public and can come back to bite you in the ass - we know that ... but seriously.... do you not post stuff occassionally that maybe you would wish you hadn't if it popped up in the local newspaper? I know I have!

Her comments were obviously not professional - but they weren't meant for her students, or for the newspaper, either, and it seems more than a little unfortunate that they ended up there.

I'm assuming that she did not have her profile wide open if she was posting that sort of thing - did one of her connections do a bit of copying & pasting? Not nice, if so.

I wonder who told the press about it? Also not nice - and I'm not very impressed that the press ran with it either.

Yes, it was dumb. But it was the sort of dumb mistake that lots and lots of people make - and to name one that got caught and likely ruin any chance of her ever overcoming that error ...any chance of an academic career, at the very least - that just seems altogether too harsh to me.

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Required Viewing

>> Monday, February 7, 2011

Seriously - you should watch this video! I tried to embed it here but couldn't make it work; sorry... but really... you should go and watch it and there is a petition you should sign... and there is more information, also.

Until today, I had no clue that there were still people - about 100 tribes! - living their lives free of colonialism/empire/us - or that many of these groups are at risk because of deforestation and illegal logging, among other things.

These are not, the Survival website clarifies, "lost" tribes - people know they are there (when it suits them!) - Survival International uses the term uncontacted, meaning that they are "Peoples who have no peaceful contact with anyone in the mainstream or dominant society." They might, at some point, have had contact - but retreated from the violence which colonialism brought. Some may once have been part of larger tribal groups, and split off and moved away, fleeing contact.... lots more information available in this FAQ.

Some commenters here seem to think that dominant society SHOULD impose its will on these people... (or that it is a hoax)... it should come as no surprise to anyone that knows me that I am not one of those people.... everyone should, if y'ask me... leave them the hell alone!!! If they want contact at some point, let them initiate it.

And in the meantime, the areas we know they occupy should also be left the hell alone.

Just. Leave. Them. Alone.

Please!

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Some days....

>> Friday, February 4, 2011


the thought of just saying to hell with the whole school thing is oh so appealing.


Fortunately, it (usually) doesn't last long.


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Snow Day

>> Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Figures it would be a Wednesday! I don't have classes on Wednesday ... but I do need to go to Peterborough so that I will be there for my seminars tomorrow.

Fortunately, in spite of all the hype and carrying on on the news and the weather network, it really is not that bad. Might take us a bit longer than our usually 2.5 hours... and it is a royal pain that we will no doubt have to shovel at the other end as well... but it definitely could be worse.

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SENT!

>> Sunday, January 16, 2011

They suck .... I have little doubt....BUT THEY ARE GONE.

Finished (using the term loosely) my practice comp exam today and sent them off.

Huge relief.

God - with this much pressure over a PRACTICE test, how the hell am I EVER going to survive the real thing?!

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Let the games begin

>> Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Received my first 3 questions for my comprehensive essay yesterday - these are "just" a practice run... and I have a bit more than a week to do them - but given that I have all sorts of other things going on in my life (tenants that don't pay rent, don't give notice, etc. for starters ... and that IS just for starters!) ....AND that I have not managed to yet READ all 55 books on my list never mind find a way to retain what I'm reading...

it's more than enough challenge.

Have I mentioned I love Inspiration software? I know I have .... but anyway ... I got the questions yesterday, late afternoon... and my first response on reading them was OMG I haven't read enough...I can't...I don't know....ACK!!! You know that initial total panic when you're first confronted with exam questions, right? Yeah, that....

After a brief (well, HE might not describe it as brief) whine to hubby "I TOLD her I wasn't ready - why is she pushing me so hard - blah blah blah...." though, I decided to open up Inspiration and plunked the first question into it. And then I started to play.

No brilliant flashes of inspiration, really ... but once I had broken each question down into bubbles and mucked about a bit with structures.... I was able to start plugging some of the authors in where they fit best ... not worrying about who said what when yet ... just stuff like well, Patricia Monture-Angus will fit here... where I need to talk about feminist writers and colonialism; Sangster goes here with class ... oh, and Smith can fit there too...and so on and so on....

I did the same with each of the three questions... didn't get as far with the one re: my criminalization & law section as I did with the others... but did as much as I could without resorting to burying myself in my notes and books and so on ... the plan was to not get bogged down and stressed out - just to PLAY... and then go to bed and hope that things would be more doable this morning.

And indeed, they are...I woke up thinking about ways to categorize different schools of thought about criminalization... AND how to bring in a lot of the theory/older stuff that is on my list even though the question refers to "current debates" (by speaking to how current "schools of thought" are drawing on Foucault et al ....

so ... I'm not ready to sit down and WRITE all 3 essays yet .... but I am a heck of a lot further than I am likely to have been without my very pretty blue and purple and yellow bubbles.... and now that I am finished my first coffee of the day and the puppies have quit harassing me and gone outside to play, I do believe it is time I get back to them ... the bubbles, I mean :)

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Women and the Canadian Welfare State: Challenges and Change

>> Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Evans, Patricia M. And Gerda R. Wekerle, Eds. Women and the Canadian
Welfare State: Challenges and Change
. Toronto: U of Toronto P, 1997. Ebrary.
[C]


*sigh* This book just depresses me. I read it. I retained a lot of it it was- much easier than many of them because THIS one I lived through and even, to some extent, was paying attention. I was, for example, a beneficiary of Ontario's Pay Equity Legislation, which, after several years of wrangling and being told that there were no male comparators that they could AFFORD to compare us to, finally resulted in a very nice pay raise.

The book is a collection of essays that for the most part deals with the period between 1985 - 1995 and the hollowing out of the Canadian welfare state - and especially, the potential (at that point) for significant harm to women, and especially, to the progress that feminist organizations had made during the 60s & 70s.

I found it depressing because, for the most part, the authors were exactly right. Throughout the whole book, the one recurring message is that we have to pay attention. We have to take action. Or else....

and here we are... in or-else hell.... pretty much all of the things they warned of have indeed come to pass.... only more-so.....

Neoliberalism - or, as Dr. Marjorie Griffin Cohen terms it in her essay, vampire capitalism, has indeed prevailed, and the women's movement - although still around in various (under/un-funded factions) - faces serious challenges.... not the least of which is that a lot of people - young women, especially, think that the battle is over; we've come as far as we need to; it's all good now....

except that IT. IS. NOT.

We were, for a bit, drawing closer in terms of pay equity ... but now we're moving in the absolute wrong direction again. All of those people that used to be cared for in nursing homes, hospitals (for much longer than they are now), and institutions did not suddenly become independent... and guess who is providing the majority of at home or in the community care?

Institutions were not great solutions for a lot of people - and it is great that we're no longer warehousing people the way we were (with the exception of the many, many, many mentally ill people who we are now "caring for" -~gag~ - in our prisons) .... but such closures mean that a whole lot more people are caring for people and not getting paid for it ...and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell us that the majority of the people doing that unpaid caring work are women.

One of the essays that I found the most disturbing was "The Shift to Market: Gender and Housing Disadvantage" by Wekerle. Her discussion about housing and the impact of cuts warned of the potential harm specifically to women .... while I was reading it, the thought occured to me that here is one are we are making some ~progress~ toward equality.... in 2004, the National Working Group on Women and Housing reported that young women account for 41% of youth staying in shelters, and the percentage increases as they age. There are lots of other statistics in that fact sheet too, if you need further evidence that issues of women's equality are losing ground and that there is still work to do.

The scariest part of fact sheets like that, though, is not the actual statistics, although those are disturbing enough - it is that, as Dr. Meg Luxton observed when she spoke to my women's studies class, a few years from now we won't have reliable statistics about many of the things they tell us. By ending the mandatory long form census, Harper & Co. are ensuring that we just won't have StatisticsCanada data to draw on.



Anyway, once again I feel as though I have barely scratched the surface of potential discussion points in this book... but time to move on and tackle the next.

Still have 3/4 that I have read but not yet blogged about... perhaps tomorrow...



For now, I'm moving on to bell hooks.... or maybe....FOOD first, then bell hooks. The chocolate I ate for lunch (on top of the pot of coffee I had for breakfast) just isn't cutting it! I need protein.

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2 Down...

>> Sunday, December 19, 2010

Razack, Sherene H. Looking White People in the Eye: Gender, Race, and Culture in Courtrooms and Classrooms. Toronto: U of Toronto P, 1998. Ebrary. [C]


Well, actually more than 2 - but have not yet written them all up yet ... just finished writing about Sherene Razack's Looking White People in the Eye though, so it feels done while the others don't (yet!).

Writing about the books here is different than the sort of writing I do about them for my notes and annotated bibliography...which is why it is a good exercise, I think... it encourages me to think about them another way - and to think about how I might present them if I were to be teaching them, i.e. to students (or blog visitors) who are not as immersed in the whole Women's Studies thing as I am right now. So anyway ... Looking White People in the Eye...


I think the most important thing that I got from this particular reading is questions to consider as I read other work, watch TV or read the paper, pay attention to the dynamics in my classes (huh! I have no more classes as a student now.... it's all teaching for the time being! Cool, eh?). They include:

  • What stories are told and how are they heard?
  • How does gender interlock with race and disability to produce specific experiences of violence and what language can I use to describe those interlocking realities?
  • How has colonization changed, and continues to change, me? (Razack uses "white people" but since I only speak for myself, I changed the question accordingly)

I really liked that she uses the term "stories" .... sometimes, the work that I am doing now seems so far from removed that the work that I did during my undergraduate work and even in my Masters - but it really is not. It is all about stories, and Razack reminded me of that, and her work encouraged me to think about how the things I worked on and learned before starting my Phd might still be of use.



Anyway....each of the essays in the book explores the way that the eyes of men and women of dominant groups see subordinate women in these complex, interlocking ways. Razack differentiates interlocking from intersectionality by the degree of interdependence; interlocking systems need one another, and by tracing the complex ways in which they help to secure one another, she writes, we learn how women are produced into positions that exist symbiotically but hierarchically (13). Razack argues that power relations deeply shape encounters, and that through attending to them, we can begin to unravel how subjectivity is constituted, how systems of domination are produced, and how better to disrupt and challenge them.



The most useful chapter (aside from the introduction and conclusion, anyway) for me was one in which Razack discusses developmental disability. She advocates for attitudes not of pity but of respect, and highlights ways in which gains fought for and achieved by feminist women may, in courts, work against women with disabilities. It is here, as she notes, that she is clearly in the dominant and privileged position so - for those of us who enjoy white privilege as a matter of course - this is the chapter that most closely models a discussion from our typical position.




I feel that I should clarify enjoying white privilege. This is not, at least from my standpoint - and remember that I have already said that I speak only for myself - a matter of lording my position over anyone else's. It is, rather, an acknowledgement that in our society, I do, by sheer virtue of being a white Canadian, benefit. I am, actually, exceedingly privileged - by not only race, but also in terms of class (I can take time out from working to go to university, and although there are certainly many more class privileged than I, that definitely places me in a privileged position relative to many others). And while I have, at some times in my life, experienced short term disability, here again, I am privileged - and certainly there can be little argument that I have a much easier life than someone who is poor, ill or disabled, and not-white. That does not mean that I am better than this hypothetical person, of course - in many ways, to my way of thinking, it means that my accomplishments mean rather less than theirs do.


So the only real area in which I am regularly in the subordinate position is because I am female - and in Canada, while there continue to be very real disadvantages to being a woman (we are a very long way from any sort of equality yet; patriarchy is alive and well albeit rather more subtle than it has been in the past - but that is a discussion for another day, as I'm trying to write a blog post, not a novel!) - that alone does not render me SO subordinate as to permit me to, as Razack suggests some feminists do, ignore the many ways in which my privilege puts others in the subordinate position.



Of course, in a neoliberal society, we are all equal and none of us are supposed to pay any attention to any of this but hey... there, too, is a rant for another time.



There are so many tangents I am tempted to go off in from here - but the unfortunate reality is that The Goffman Reader is due back at the library by tomorrow and I have not yet begun to read it.... so I shall stop here and get started.


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1 down...far too many to go

>> Friday, December 10, 2010

Brodie, Janine. Politics on the Margins: Restructuring and the Canadian
Women's Movement
. Halifax: Fernwood, 1995.


Yikes! I spent way too long to get through just one book today. It is very small, too... much shorter than most of the books on my reading list. There is a lot packed into it, though. I often, when I'm reading for school, try to sum up each paragraph in a few words/phrases ... and quite often, that is doable. With Brodie, not so much. She packs so much into each paragraph that when I start taking notes and trying to summarize it, I quite often have to really work to resist the temptation to just write the whole darn thing out. She does not waste words.

The other two books that I have read in this section (Movements and Methods) have both included more history about women's movements in Canada. I am collecting quite a lot of dates in my timeline spreadsheet, and acronymns as well. I have also started a third page in the workbook for people - I figure it wouldn't hurt to generate a list of some of they key players in the women's movements as I go; there are a few women whose names are already becoming familiar because they're mentioned in every book.

Anyway, Politics on the Margins is not so much about history, although it does include a chapter that provides an overview of first and second wave Canadian feminist movements. It spends a lot more time examining neoliberalism, and challenging the notion of inevitability that neoliberal politicians favour - the suggestion that we HAVE to do things this way to compete in a global economy and to survive; there are no other options. Bull-pucky! Not Brodie's term, of course ... but it captures the sentiment quite well, I think.

Neoliberal governments are all about capitalism and globalization; increasing exports, decreasing social programs, reducing state power in favour of business - people with money, basically. Neoliberal ideology is good only, I think, for the very rich; for the rest of us (and for the environment as well), it has extremely negative repercussions - and these are especially harmful for women. Brodie details erosion of the gains made during the second wave of the women's movement in Canada - declining paid work opportunities, increasing gaps between men's and women's wages, and all of the losses associated with the dismantling of the social welfare system. In addition to the women who were receiving social supports that are no longer available, many of the jobs that have been lost through no longer providing those supports were held by women as well. AND of course, guess who picks up the majority of the (now unpaid) supportive work that still needs to be done?

Neoliberalism ideology insists that we are all equal; men, women; people of colour, people with disabilities - everyone except, possibly, for the very young (although, of course, only while they are very young). Everyone has equal opportunities - and pretty much anything that happens to you is your own fault. We are all, each of us, responsible for our own choices.

So buddy over there chooses to be homeless, and she chooses to be sick, and that guy chose poverty, and ..... weren't you listening? Everyone is equal.

We do not have to support people who are sick or poor or disabled or unemployed or discriminated against on the grounds of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and so on because they are not discriminated against! We are all equal, we all choose to be where we are, and we all have to deal with the consequences of our choices (which is why our current government thinks we need lots & lots more prisons, but that's another issue altogether).


Anyway, in this book, Brodie challenges the assertions by government and the media that there are no other choices but neoliberalism, and encourages women’s organizations to work together to resist marginalization and to develop broad-based alliances across gender, race and class. A feminist politics of restructuring, she suggests, must begin at the level of contesting neoliberal orthodoxy, and must challenge impositional claims as impositional and interrogate and explicate restructuring discourse. She also encourages insistence that new trading agreements respect conventions on human rights which countries such as Canada have ratified; this strategy provides a basis for coalitions both internally and internationally without assuming a unity of interests.

The book was written in 1995 when some women's organizations still had some funding - my sense is that the erosion has continued and that there is even less o' that now... after all, we are all equal now; there is no need.

If only t'were so!


I think that 30/40 years from now - or maybe even sooner - assuming we haven't totally demolished the planet by then - people will be talking about neoliberalism the way we now discuss colonialism: it was bad, look at all the damage we've done; how are we going to fix it?

Will we ever get it right?

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Negotiation

Ah, this is going to be a fun, fun holiday season; I can tell.

I have 55 books to master before the end of January. Close readings, lots & lots of notes, mind-maps, timelines, papers, etc.... There are not 55 DAYS between now and then. So. I need to read. A lot. Every. single. day. Except maybe for Christmas - IF I manage a few days of more than one book.

Hubby just asked what I was working on. Told him I was reading for comps... he said, no, I mean stuff with deadlines... I want to figure out when we're doing lunch, going shopping, going to the doctor, etc etc etc.

WE are not doing all of those things - at least not every time he gets an urge. HE can do what he wants.

But me, I am BUSY.

Studying for comps is indeed something with deadlines, dammit!!!!

I will make time for the shopping and socializing that is required ... But I HAVE to read. And study. And focus.

It's going to be a fun couple of months; I can tell.

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Studying for comps...

>> Monday, December 6, 2010

So... finished off book report today, and not doing the primary source assignment ... I need to focus on studying for my comprehensive exams. At this point, I am scheduled to write them in February ... I need to do a close reading of 55 books before then and be able to (intelligently!) pull together what I read - and, to some extent, keep track of who said what when. That will be the tricky part - but I think I'm sorting out a system for it.

For each book/article that I'm reading, I'm doing a one page overview - source info, keywords, thesis, arguments and how it fits with my work/that section. In a lot of cases, I'm also doing a similar page for each chapter or section. Once I have read each section and am ready, I am to write a 8 - 10 page paper.

Plus, as I go, I am keeping track of key events/dates in an Excel spreadsheet (so that I can sort it later) and I'm mapping key themes in my Inspiration software. Best $50 I ever spent, that. I don't use the software the same way as I did when I was in undergrad, but I do still use it regularly.

I hardly ever actually produce anything final in it any more - I used to use it to generate outlines and so on when I was writing (much) shorter papers - but these days I mostly just play with ideas. I quite often end up with multiple versions of the same ~stuff~ .... and it sometimes feels like I should quit starting over with them and just FINISH one ... but it is the process that matters for me right now, not the product... so will just keep playing.

ANYWAY...I have a plan... now I just have to get through it all. Quick like bunny!

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Flying by....

>> Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Another semester is almost at an end... 2 more weeks and then I will - REALLY! - be done with course work.

Really, I could have been done already, but my comp supervisor was teaching a course related to the topic of my first comp exam, so she suggested I audit it. And THEN she pushed me to also do all of the assignments, which I really didn't need to since I'm only auditing, but I have done none-the-less. I have finished all of the weekly readings and papers now (I scooted ahead to get them out of the way) and am almost done the book review she wants.

Did not mind doing that one too much, since I'm using 2 of the books from my comps list, so it certainly won't hurt me any. There is one other assignment as well, though, that I am not at all enthusiastic about. IF it was a course I was actually taking and getting a mark for, it might be worth a 3hour (1 way) drive to an archive for a relevant primary source. But since I am not.... yeah... no!

It has taken FOREVER to get my comps list sorted - now that it FINALLY is (cue the happy-dancing penguins) I am eager to get at that and get at least one full section out of the way before the holidays. 20 books, 1 essay ..... I can do this. 2 sections before Christmas would be even better, but that might be pushing it....

But a primary source assignment that really is not that relevant and not worth anything...? Nope, I don't think so.

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Do I REALLY need a Phd?

>> Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Some days I really wonder why I keep doing this to myself!

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Moving forward... hopefully in the right direction

>> Monday, October 18, 2010

so... I now have 60 resources in my database - well, more than 60, actually, but as per the example list I have from someone else, am counting 4 chapters/articles as 1. I have included many of the authors my committee members recommended - now have to figure out how to categorize them.

And then I will - retroactively - try to write the brief descriptions of how/why they were chosen.

Because so and so said so is not an acceptable reason, no matter how truthful. Too bad!

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Bluddy hell!

>> Monday, October 11, 2010

already SO far behind where I wanted to be for my comprehensive exams by this point :(

like as in really REALLY far behind.

When I started the process, I put together a list of all sorts of women's studies articles that I thought would be good to read.

But then I met with the person my co-ordinator said to ask to supervise me. Did what she said. ... which was to narrow the focus. Big time. I really like her, and find her feedback very useful.

BUT I was a bit concerned that she wanted me to get to working on my annotated bibliography before we sent the tentative list to the other 2 people on my committee.

SO. I met with her again, and we agreed that I would send the list.

Sent it out on Friday. Both of my committee members responded today - it is TOO narrow. Back to the drawing board.

Shoot me now.

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Getting Sorted

>> Wednesday, September 8, 2010


So...I thought I had everything all sorted - my classes, teaching assignment and especially my schedule. It was - at one point - particularly beautiful. Tuesdays - class from 9 - noon, lecture 1 - 3, seminars 5-7. Period. All on Tuesdays!


I liked that. A lot.


But then I discovered that the course that I'm auditing is now on Wednesdays. No biggie - so I would have to stay over one more night at our Peterborough house. But still, doable; nice and compact. AND the course is only one semester, so NEXT semester would only be Tuesdays. That worked for me.


Went to my TA meeting and left enthusiastic about the changes that have been made since last year; was really looking forward to... ack!


I received an email, just as I was leaving that meeting. Due to registration numbers, my TA assignment has been changed. The new course - Women's Studies - is great; I'm looking forward to that. BUT the schedule! My nice compact schedule! WAH!!!!


I looked online to find the times/days for the WS lecture and seminars....ACK! ACK! ACK! The lecture is on Thursdays, and the seminar times are spread between Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays.


Mondays would REALLY suck. And fortunately, I was not asked to do those. I whined, first thing. LOL
Right now, I am assigned two seminar times on Fridays...which is not ideal - it puts me in Peterborough over 3 days each week, rather than the one or two I prefer... but it is DEFINITELY better than Mondays would be!


There's still a possibility of a switch to Thursday seminar times; the prof is going to try to work that out for me... but if not, Fridays will have to do.


Sure a very long way from my nice Tuesday schedule though :(
And this week, we're having a meeting on Monday. Blech!

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And so it begins...again

>> Monday, September 6, 2010

A new school year, that is.

Now that I am finished my coursework for my Phd, my primary focus will be on preparing for my comprehensive exams.

Had a few problems that have delayed my progress; had hoped to be further along by now... but still on track, I think, to do my first exams (a written and an oral) before Christmas.

Then the second by the end of April, and hopefully, be ready to defend my thesis proposal by this time next year.

At least that is the plan. ~stuff~ happens - constantly - but so far, in spite of all that, I've managed to get things done. Even when I broke both wrists at the end of my first semester of my MA, I managed to get everything done.

So - a little bit of trauma, non-stop nightmares & relationship challenges... meh... just have to keep on plugging.

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4 Weeks! Bad Blogger!!

>> Friday, August 6, 2010

Just saw a link to my own site on Stephanie the Rocket Scientist's sidebar and it said I hadn't updated in 4 weeks! 4 weeks!!! Where does the time go?!

I haven't accomplished anywhere near enough work for it to have been 4 weeks since my last update! I have done some - working toward my first comprehensive exam - got my statements written and approved by my advisor, and put together the preliminary bibliography. Now I'm onto annotating it - slower going than I'd like, but it's difficult to sum up an entire work in a paragraph without actually reading the whole thing, right? Will get 'er done - before the 23rd of August.

And then I'll send it to my advisor and she'll send it back with edits and so on and so on ... hopefully will have it all finalized and done by the time the new semester starts.

Other than that, I've caught several really nice bass, played way too much Zoo World on Facebook and dealt with .... ~stuff~

KidStuff, tenantStuff, computerStuff, relationshipStuff, moneyStuff, healthStuff.... just stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. And stress.

Funny ... I have much LESS actual work than usual on my plate right now... and yet I am constantly aware of a feeling of anxiety/panic. Am I less anxious when I'm actually working, going to school, etc. etc....? I suspect not. I think that the difference is that when I am busy I don't have time to pay attention or notice how I feel. I do believe I need to get busy again!

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